Look at me still talking when theres science to do

When I look out there it makes me glad I'm not you


(no subject)
I'm so cool
geranium_dreams
 So...it's my birthday and stuff. Go me~

(no subject)
Disapproves
geranium_dreams
You know, I've been reading everyone else's journal on my LJ that is on my list, but  I completely forget that I too can make posts. Crazy times.

I tried to make a decent post, but I don't know why I can't. I decided to sit down and read some of my past entries, and it honestly made me feel sick to my stomach.

I want to think that I am past all of that. I want to be disconnected from how I felt throught the usage of this journal. I hate it, honestly.

Hit me up on linkethv ...my new LJ name. I'll use this one to read peoples journals who don't add my new one, but I will not make any further posts on here.

(no subject)
Hey, Sexy
geranium_dreams
So, I have just been asked out on a date for the 3rd time in 2 days. No joke.

WHUT?

(no subject)
geranium_dreams
2 hours. 8D

GOLIATH
geranium_dreams
Ho'kay.

So went to White Water yesterday. I went with Emily and my newly acquired Tennessee friends who came down to visit Heather and Em. We run around and play in the slides, rafts and wave pools. The highlight of the day was when we were all on this 4 person raft (It was Em, Lavi, Allen, Kanda and I), I started screaming. Well, it wasn't *real*, I was fake screaming because of how unintense it was. Apparently, it was hilarious and I made Em pee herself.

Haha.

So today, we all go to Six Flags. It was Heather, Em, Lavi, Allen, Kanda, Dante and I. I rode the Mine Train, Some crappy kids coaster that turned out to be rather entertaining, Scream Machine, Ninja.....took a trip to Skull Island to cool off...went and got something to eat...

And then....THE GOLIATH.

Waiting in line wasn't so bad because the line wasn't ridiculous. They also have a great system where the line goes fast as hell. We only waited 30 mins. It didn't feel like it though.

It was Em, Lavi, Dante and I in line. Em starts having panic attacks because she remembers the last time she went on it. Her stomach was acting up and apparently the first drop is SO intense because its nearly 90 degrees straight down. I have dont Fearless Freeps (the bungee cord) and Acrophobia and Deja Vu, so I was confident that I could handle the drop. We all sit there trying to get her mind off of it because she didn't want to chicken out. We get up to the coaster and load onto it. Dante and I are freaking out excited and geeked up. Em starts tearing up and Lavi is just cool. We start the incline and then Dante and I exchange nervous looks. About halfway up, Dante turns to me and says" Dude, we are already higher up than Acrophobia D: D: D:" I look and HOLY COW we were. I started getting jittery and antsy. The whole time, Em is like "I can do this. I can do this." Halfway up it was "I can't do this. I can't do this". At the very top, she looked dead serious and said "I don't want to do this". At that point, Dante and I looked to each other, almost feeling regret at getting on. She looked super scared.

And then the Drop.

At first I was doing my retard scream to make Em feel better...but it then morphed into a God Honest HOLY  SHIT scream. I was crying bloody murder. Tears were welling up. But they were tears of EPIC AWESOME. That drop literally made my stomach fly to my throat. I just...kept screaming. If you know how I am with rides, I like to shout obsenities such as "I think I left my uterus back there" or "I just lost my virginity" or "Help me God! Help Me Allah! Help me Tom Cruise".

This time is was "HOLY SHIT" and "Great Salt Lake city Lakes!" and "First Inner Outer Last. That's Foil!" and "You can't divide by Zero! Dear GOD why can't you divide by Zero!".

Yes. This roller coaster is SO badass, that it makes you scream math phrases.

Needless to say, riding it beat making Em pee herself completely. It beat the entire weekend. Hands down.

Just sayin'.
 



(no subject)
geranium_dreams
At this moment...

...this VERY second...

...I am wearing a size 14 pair of pants.

Granted, I am squeezed in them, and they are a little too tight for comfort, but HOLY SHIT a size 14.

I feel extremely satisfied.

That is all.

(no subject)
I'm so cool
geranium_dreams
Hahahaha.

I have horrible sunburns all over my body. It is especially bad on my arms. All of them. I also burned my back, legs, hands, and face. I blame it on Griffin. It's super sunny hot here. Plus, maybe riding in the back of a pickup truck for a couple hours from noon to 4pm helping people move and make errands could contribute.

In any case, I am better now. I am turning sort of blue from the aloe vera I am applying religiously. All I know is Tylonel saved my life last night. I believe I was about to go into a heat stroke of sorts. I was cold (when I say "cold", I mean freezing and shivering mixed with convulsions) and nauseous and tired and all those fun things. Drank some water, medicated myself and started with the Aloe. Oh gods, I am a million times better today (though I stil feel extra crispy). My face will peel, but everything else? I think it might either freckle or stay because it's not bubbling up at all. Probably going to go to the pool and soak when the sun goes down.

Other than that, just hanging and banging here. Steve and I have been talking about moving here to Griffin with Madi and Marv. We figure we'd LIKE to get a job up in Powder Springs for the time being, save up some money and get our own 1 bedroom apartment next to Marv's. We could totally pull a Kramer and just....show up randomly to their door. Plus this place has a nice workout gym and EVERYTHING within walking distance. No kidding. So maybe.

Either that or I try applying to everything while  I am down here, live in Marv's living room until Steve and I save up money and then get our own place. I don't want to do that because I don't want to be away from Steve (who else will bug him about getting jobulated?) and plus I still owe his mom some duckets.

So yeah.Gonna go do my rounds on the netz here...sitting in my bathing suit hoping to god I don't shift the wrong way.

(no subject)
I'm so cool
geranium_dreams
Okay.

(no subject)
I'm so cool
geranium_dreams
Haha. What's up?

-Moved out of the 'Rents place. Why? Because I remember why I hated living with them. I know they are good people deep down and they want what is best, etc. etc. But really? I prefer to work nights. I am nocturnal by nature. If I have a regular sleep schedual, I am a pissy person. Day time makes me angry (don't ask). So of course I am out late. They don't want me coming home late because I'd wake up the dogs, who would wake up Cindy, who would be angry. So I didn't come home if I worked. And I worked alot. Best route to take then is don't come home? I thought that, but then they started bitching at me for not being home. What else was I to do? I'm not a Ninja no matter how badass I am. And after Cindy called me a "Stinky Fish" (yeah, WTF?) I was out like shout.

-Living with Steve again. It's not all sunshine and puppies this time though. It's weird not being in a relationship with him BUT living with him in the same room. I mean, we are still...IDK bffs? But the whole "HAY let's sleep in the same bed everynight and NEITHER of us get any privacy really" thing is making me feel awkward. But hey, what else is a girl to do? Can't afford my own place, and his mom is cool about me being there. Well, lately not so much. His older sister is WAY pregnant...number 2 on the way and she is BITCHY pregnant. Steve's little 17 yr old brother plays loud Screamo music all night RIGHT next to her....and we hole ourselves in Steve's room, with the door shut, a fan on, and the TV volume on LOW and she completely flips on us. Word gets to mom and she flips on us. There is no dealing with Pregnant ladies. Ever. If I get that way, someone should punch me in the stomach because then I wouldn't deserve to have a kid.

-Planning more costumes for AWA. I cut my hair recently to be styled like Ishida's from Bleach because I want to do his Quincy outfit. That'll be so kickass you guys have no idea. But I agreed to be Urahara again for Em since I was going to be him in the first place. That and I don't want her to have to find another person to be him because Gods know she has found enough people to join our Entourage. We just need to redo some of the outfit to make it look asthetically better. We rushed through the final stages of it because other costumes still needed to be done for Momo-con.

-Looking for a job. If anyone knows of somewhere that is hiring that allows facial piercings, that would be most good.

-Going to a Nightwish concert tomorrow night with Greta. That should be a hoot. Apparently Selena and Bridgitte (probably REALLY misspelled that) from Border Pagans are going too so might make a group of it.

-Driving to Chicago with Justin on Friday and won't be back until the 25th. Feel free to blow up my cell phone with texts.

-Been feeling kind of "Eh" lately. Not in a bad way, just a way that makes me think. Everyone seems to want to hang out with everyone else. I know a lot of people are feeling this way lately, which is odd. Maybe it's spring? Who knows. But it seems that I'm just not one of those people who people think of as in "Oh, you need *this*? Talk to Lisa, she is good at it" or "I wonder what Lisa is doing. Let's ask her to hang out" or something. I know Greta shows up at Steve's and stuff, but most of the time I think it is Just to see Steve.

-Watching Family Matters at 6am. What the flying....

Anyways, that about wraps it up. Get at me, Dog.

(no subject)
geranium_dreams
Ho'kay gaiz, here is the new LJ:


viridianexile 

Friend me if you want to.


(no subject)
I'm so cool
geranium_dreams
And so it goes...

You know, for a while I thought I was in a rut. Thought I wasn't going much of anywhere. Not just with schooling or job (or lack thereof), but in what I like. In what I *thought* I liked. Everything seemed so bland. So less colorful than when I was in highschool. Video games seemed routine, anime seemed dull and immature, music seemed to make my head hurt the more I listened to it, my friends seemed to get further away from me. Everything jumped on the shit train, and I didn't know if I could catch up to the ride.

Steve and Greta have been my world for a while now. Ever since I was 18 they have been the staple to my paper, keeping everything together and organized. But then I felt the paper started getting holes in it, started tearing at the ends, becomming wet and soggy with who knows what. I felt like the staple was rusting off and losing the papers. I am not saying this is because Steve and Greta suck as friends, oh no. Far from it. But more...there was some unknown, pissy god deciding to urinate on all my hopes and dreams. Yeah, more like that.

That was until a couple weekends ago I re-found some old friends that I thought I was "too good for" or miles away from. I have never been one to say I am *better* than anyone. We all have our good points and our bad points. Sometimes, at a certain point in our life, we see things one way, but as we grow, so does our mind and our perception on things.

I admit that for a while, I thought I was just too different from them. That all they cared about was certain things that I just couldn't come to recognize as things that I cared for just as deeply. So I strayed away from them. I got myself far away and didn't even know if I wanted to ever go back. I didn't care. If it happened, then it did. I wasn't going to push myself to try to even salvage anything.

But then I saw her at Publix, and it's like a wave of old hit me in the face. Everything clicked. Like, back to before I even left. Except this time, my mind is in a different place than what it once was. It has grown, and it has changed. In a good way, I'd like to think. So she invited me over to hang out. At first, I wasn't going to go. Like so many other times I was offered. I was just going to smile and nod and say I might. But something in me was off. I went to Steves and asked him if he wanted to go. Usually, I wouldn't even tell him. But this time I did. I thought that if he said no, I wouldn't go and that would be the end of it. But he said yes, so we went.

And I thank the gods that I did.

Heather and Emily were my everything in highschool. Heather was my very first friend when I moved down to Georgia. She helped me more or less into the person everyone loves today. Sure, her and I don't see eye to eye, but that's ok. She was there through all my boyfriends, after some fights, when I first got so drunk, I took a shower with my clothes on. Things I had forgotten through growing up. We have had times of uncontrollable laughter, and grandiose ideas of fame. Anything you can imagine, we have probably been through. If I hadn't met her, I would be an asshole. Straight up.

That weekend Steve and I went to visit them reopened the Lisa in me. Everything seems much more entertaining. Thoughts are flowing through my head again. Ideas, plans, and so forth.

Fangirling has been opened back up. Now, fangirling can be creepy, and gods know I was the creepiest in highschool for it. Carrying around a notebook full of pictures and informations on all my subjects of Glory...and constant babble on them. But you know? That was fun. It gave me something to think about. Something to daydream of. Something to focus all my raw retard into. It felt great. And now I am doing it again.  Well, I never stopped, but it was different. I felt, bad...for doing it. I don't now.

I'm forming cosplay ideas again. Something I had lost a passion for. And because of it, I actually WANT to work now. I WANT to get money. I WANT to. I'm making plans for conventions in advanced instead of just, showing up and whatever. I'm planning money for these things. Budgeting. I'm meeting new people because of it. I'm going out to parties, and places, and networking. I'm not scooped up at home or at Steves sleeping the day away, wishing I was doing something more social. I am now. I'm living. I'm doing things I enjoy because I can.

So far, I have 2 conventions planned. Momo-con and AWA. Both of them I have cosplay plans already working. All I need is the money.

And I HAVE A JOB NOW. Crazy, right? Been about a year now since my last real job. Funny, I am taking Greta's old one because she just got a lot of Awesome dumped on her which forces her to quit Papa Johns. So everything just seems to fall in place. Where my money is going to go, what I will be doing with myself. Opprotunities are just comming out of the woodwork now.

I can't wait. This costume will be so fun~ I'll be in a group filled with people with the same passion of Bleach as I do. (The Anime, tards). Not to mention I have always loved Kisuke Urahara.

Well, I don't know where I am going with this anymore. Here I am, at the library in school wasting time. Just thought I would share this tidbit with you. Or maybe just for me. To see in writing. Who knows? I just did.

Peace out, Livejournal.

Oh yeah...and a new journal is comming. A new one for me. I have had this one since High School, I do believe. Or somewhere back then. Be expecting a link sometime soon on it when I get it set up.

Oh yeah oh yeah...Greta: ILY. D: Don't think that I hate you because "you're not a good friend". You are, so shut up. I'll kick you. In the face. Kay? Just a warning. No more of that. You're my heterosexual lifepartner for a reason. That's because you don't suck. I don't have suck H.S.L.Ps. Ever. 8D

(no subject)
geranium_dreams
Woo. 101 degree temperature. I am a winner winner chicken dinner.

Does this mean I am sick? D:

I mean, the only ugh I am feeling is I am coughing up some mucus (I guess Sinuses?) and my body feels like a 2ton lady just sat on me. That and I am FREEZING.

I hardly ever get sick...last time was in 06...Christmas I believe. Anyone know what this could be?

In other news, I am watching Repo! tonight with Steve and Greta. Huzzah!

(no subject)
geranium_dreams
You know, I've been depressed/pissed/lonely ever since I got home today around 6. Ate dinner in silence while Justin geeked out about shit. I didn't want to talk to anyone, and I holed myself in my room, door shut.

What brings me out of my horrible, PMS mood?

LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEROY JENKINSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.

....I can't stop smiling. Dear God.

Wait what?
geranium_dreams
I'm so utterly lost. Everything. Yes.

Ever since Chicago I have had this feeling of disconnection. Feeling like I am out of place. Not in a horrible, Emo way of "Oh, no one *knows* me". Just....like a Circle with some Triangles. Odd. I don't know what started it. I don't know how I start feeling it or how to make it go away. All I know is that it is a horrible feeling. No one wants to be the odd man out. Unless, ya know...you do.

I am also feeling rather un-needed. Nothing in particular, just....there. Like, I had a discussion with Steve the other night. And we were joking about shit. And I said: You know you need me as much as I need you. And quite seriously, he said "No, I think you need me more than I need you". It shouldn't have worried me as much as it did. Are people really not needing me like they used to? I hate that. I want to be needed. Alot. Like, not entirely dependant on me, but I want to feel as though I have a purpose here. People needing me is the best I can come up with at this point in time. I'm also slowly losing my Heterosexual life partner. Sure, we hang out. We laugh, we joke, we yell, we make a rucus, we do stuff. But....she is slowly becomming more obsessed with her own issues. Believe me, I know what it is like to become obsessed with something. I'm the ultimate fangirl...but this. I can't compete with what is going through her head. No matter what I say it doesn't mean a damn. She'll still do things her way. She'll still hurt herself. She'll still get sick. She'll still obsess. It's like there is no room for me anymore. No room for Lisa nonsense. No room for Lisa Logic. It's all about messing herself up. Why can't she see how utterly beautiful she already is? Why can't she listen to my fucking voice when I say I worry? Why can't she look at my jealous stare when I look at her. Wishing I looked like her. Wishing I had what she has. Wishing I could be more like her. Bah, it's like it doesn't matter anymore. She either cares about what her head (who lies, BTW) tells her or what Steve says. I'm trying to scream, but I'm on the other side of the glass.

And it hurts that Steve says he doesn't need me as much anymore. This is comming from the guy who Lived with me, who I buy food and cigs for ALL the time, who I cancel my plans to be with when he gets suicidal depressed. Who rants and raves to me over shit I have nothing to do with. He used to say Ditto when I said I love him, but now....nuh uh. He just laughs at me. I guess I am OK with that, but when did things change on me? When did Lisa not really matter much? I hate to sound like I should be the center of everyone's world, but when you get used to something for so long, when it's gone, it kind of blindsides you. I had come to expect it. I had come to just...accept it. And now? I don't even know what is going on most of the time. I just kind of exist. Just go with the ebb and flow of everyone else's lives.

And it doesn't help that I am still utterly in Love with Steve. At all. It doesn't help that I want to get out there and date other people. Try and find a little slice of happiness for myself. But whenever word slips out (and it ALWAYS does; Steve knows me too well) that I have a hot date, Steve gets depressed or mad at me very obviously. And I feel terribly guilty. To the point that I cancel said hot date to be with Steve. I dropped everything for him. I did, and I still do. What do I get out of it? Nothing, really. His happiness I guess. But what about mine? I deserve love just like everyone else. I deserve a slice of happy fucking pie too. I want that stupid fairy tale, vampire loves human, mushy gushy love. Alot of it. All over my face. But I can't when I am so up on Steve still. And I want it to stop, but I don't think it can. I don't think it will. It hurts.

I look at David and Jessica. I look at what I could have had if I wasn't so damn Lisa. I don't think of it as "Jessica stole David away". At all. I don't any grudge or hatred on that. I just feel....like if I would have been a wee bit different ...that maybe things could have different. If I would have been in that happy relationship. If I had someone I could wake up next to. It's not David himself I am jealous over per se....it's the whole meaning behind it. It's that fact that David said he didn't want an exclusive relationship to me, but ended up in one with one of my best friends. It gets to me still. But I digress, past is past, but it doesn't make the healing any less easy.

I don't want to change who I am. I don't want to lose weight to "look better". I don't want to change my dress code. I don't want to change my sense of humor. I don't want to be anyone but Lisa. But...I have a feeling that Lisa doesn't make a bit difference anymore.

(no subject)
geranium_dreams
I don't have a printer....so I am posting some recipes here. Greta and I are making teh muffins tonight. :D

Strawberry Muffins
  • 1/4 cup canola oil
  • 1/2 cup milk
  • 1 egg
  • 1/2 teaspoon salt
  • 2 teaspoons baking powder
  • 1/2 cup white sugar
  • 1 3/4 cups all-purpose flour
  • 1 cup chopped strawberries

DIRECTIONS

  1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees F (190 degrees C) oil an 8 cup muffin tin, or use paper liners.
  2. In a small bowl, combine oil, milk, and egg. Beat lightly. In a large bowl, mix flour, salt, baking powder and sugar. Toss in chopped strawberries and stir to coat with flour. Pour in milk mixture and stir together.
  3. Fill muffin cups. Bake at 375 degrees F (190 degrees C) for 25 minutes, or until the tops bounce back from the touch. Cool 10 minutes and remove from pans.
Green Tea Muffins
    • 1 1/2 tsp of powdered green tea
    • 1 cup Flour
    • 1/2 tsp baking powder
    • 1/2 cup sugar
    • 1/2 cup milk
    • 1/4 cup butter , softened
    • 1 egg

Directions
    • Heat oven to 350F.
    • Sift flour, baking powder and Green tea together in large bowl and set aside.
    • In separate bowl, mix butter and sugar until light and creamy.
    • Add other ingredients, mix until smooth.
    • Spoon into prepared muffin cups, dividing batter equally.
    • Bake for about 30 minutes.
    • Note: Muffin yiled depends on size of tins!
Earl Grey Tea Muffins

12 muffins (change servings and units)

Change to: Close

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Write a Review! (optional)

Ingredients

Directions

  1. 1
    Heat the milk in over medium heat in a small saucepan until small bubbles form around the pan's rim- do not boil.
  2. 2
    Remove from heat, stir in tea leaves or submerge the teabags in the warm milk. Cover and set aside for 45 minutes to steep.
  3. 3
    Preheat oven to 400*F and prepare muffin pans.
  4. 4
    Combine all-purpose flour, oat flour, sugar, baking soda, baking powder, and salt in a medium bowl until well mixed. Set aside.
  5. 5
    In a large bowl, lightly beat the egg with a whisk, then whisk in the melted butter, yogurt, and honey until blended. If using loose tea, strain the milk into the bowl, using a fine-mesh strainer. If using tea bags, discard them, then pour the milk into the egg mixture. Stir well with a wooden spoon until smooth.
  6. 6
    Add the flour mixture and stir until moistened.
  7. 7
    Fill the prepared tins 3/4 full and bake for 25 minutes or until muffins are lightly brown, with rounded, cracked tops.
  8. 8
    Cool the pan on a wire rack for 10 minutes, then remove the muffins and let them cool another 5 minutes.



New year
geranium_dreams
Haaaaa. I hope 2009 doesn't suck as bad as how my night went.

So Justin, Steve, Ashton, an old friend Alexis and I all go into downtown Chicago to do a bit of sight-seeing. We drive to a CTA (Public Transit, like the Marta) to ride a train into the city. We get there and walk around, seeing the Hershey Store (chocolate EVERYWHERE), a 3 story Borders, American Gothic statue, ate at a fancy pinkys out Bistro for *fake* Beignets and bread, and Navy Pier.

At Navy pier, Justin and Ashton rode a HOOGE McD's endorsed Ferris Wheel. We all went into this crazy fun house with a revolving room and mirror rooms and stuff. Walked around the pier next to the lake (Steve occasionally throwing snow onto the half frozen lake). Near Midnight, we all ate at a little cafe style restaurant. We watched the fireworks from the heated building (Did I mention it was near 10 degrees outside?) over the lake. I had my first Chicago hot dog. It was grood. After fireworks EVERYONE decided to leave, so we all paid for our food and made a human train. This is not before I secretly stole the ketchup bottle that I had fallen in love with. So, with my Hobo Juice in my Coat (I looked like a hobo with my non-matching layers) we all man handled our way out into the streets from the mall plaza. We get onto the CTA, headed back to the car. While on route, we had a discussion on the Death Penalty and how it should be done. So far, the best ideas were a robot chopping your head off with chicken wire or a single bullet to the back of the neck. But anyways...we all walk out to the car. It was FREEZING. 5 seconds outside, we were booking it to the car. Justin pulls up to his door and...

Broken Glass. Everywhere.

Someone had smashed the drivers side window COMPLETELY out. Stole his brand new GPS (which was very hidden) and his entire Radio. They pulled and frayed some wires along the way, making the car hate being turned on. We all stand out in the weather and Justin calls the Cop. They never showed. We called them again, in the meantime we are all completely numb. I couldn't feel from my waist down. Called the second time and they said they couldn't help us, they were more worried about drunk drivers or something and we would be helped in due time.

Yeah, well, they would have to have called a Hearse, because we were freezing. Litterally.

We all made a huddle puddle with jackets and spare blankets we find in the drunk. I start getting sleepy. Everything after that is a bit fuzzy because I went retarded from cold. Ashton kept saying to keep me awake. I think I said we should go back into the CTA building, but doors were locked and it was closed.

Did I mention we were on the SOUTH SIDE of Chicago....in the ghetto? Honest to God.

So we have 3 white women and 2 dudes. Car broken into. Cold as fuck. And Freezing.

Alexis gets a hold of her Mom and she comes with her truck. They load me in first because my conciousness was non-existant. Justin and Alexis drive his car back to Alexis's (5-10 mins down) and we crash at her place for the night. Cops never came. Insurance Company closed. GPS gone. Radio Gone.

Happy New Year to us.

Wake up to Mom and Dad both texting a storm to Justin and me asking what the plan is. Justin and I go to the Police Station and get a report done (Ashton and Steve stay in the car). We go to a gas station to vaccuum all the glass out. It was freakin' everywhere. I am suprised no one got cut. Then we drive to CVS and buy some Tape. We take some heavy duty plastic and tape it up to the Drivers side window (the one that was broken to shit). We drive back to town (I end up being the eye of the road for Justin). We go to Long John Silvers and eat some awesome food and draw. I think we ended up joking about Holo-deck fantasies. You know, from Star Trek.

So today wasn't too bad. But God help me if the rest of the year is as bad as last night...I'm going Donkey Kong on some people.

Oh, and the REAL kicker, is the thieves stole all the CDs. I don't know if you know, but Justin's CDs are all screamo, devil worshipping sounding metal crap. I hope they think we are Satan worshippers and are going to cast a magic juju circle on them to Hex their families or something. Or I hope they find my Backstreet Boys CDs and get tortured for atleast a minute. Yeah. That'd be nice.

So....here is to a better year than 2008!

(no subject)
geranium_dreams
Boo.

So Christmas is around the corner. Does anyone really celebrate it anymore? I don't mean presents. I don't mean hanging stockings on the fireplace or putting up lights around your house.

I mean spending time with FAMILY. Not even doing anything eventful. Maybe sit around and talk, catch up, spend a significant amount of time with the ones you love.

I get to do JUST that for the first time in...2 years.

Not ONLY do I get to road trip up to Chicago to spend time with my Mom, Little brother, and Mom's boyfriend (who is just as much part of my family as he is his own), but I get to bring Steve with me. This might not seem like a huge deal to everyone else, but it is fantastically kickass to me. For the years that I have known him, he has always hated the holidays. Never really got into them, and actually got physically depressed over them. For as long as he has been my friend, I have tried to make every holiday with him memorable. One year, for his Birthday, I made him his favorite cake, got him some Manga he wanted, and spent the day watching movies. Just THAT made him not hate his Birthday that year. I want to make this Christmas the best he has ever had.


And of course, if you know my mom, you KNOW that Steve has a nice little chunk of space under the Tree for gifts just for him. So far they have racked up: 8gig PSP mem chip, a dozen movies (his favorites), a new wardrobe fresh from Kohls, A LEATHER FUCKING JACKET (with cotton hood), New Bedsheets, New Pillows, New Shoes (Boots and Chucks I do believe). I mean, he has always come from a poor family...I think he will be overwhelmed this year. And not that presents make the holiday, but I don't think he has ever got to experience the excitement you get as a kid, anxiously waiting for Xmas morning to open presents. I don't care if I get anything at all....just seeing his face will be enough for me.

I love that boy with all my heart, and He'll have the best  damned family filled good time Christmas or I'll kill him. 8D

That and my mom is making stuffed peppers when we get there. You'll never know how awesome they are because you aren't cool enough to chill with my mom. XD

I can has hair extensions now? My dad gave me the rest of the funds I needed to get them. So I am in Griffin right now hanging with Madi and Marv and Steve. Maybe tomorrow Madi will help me out with it and put them in for me.

Oh, And I am TOTALLY bringing Cookies to the Border Pagans Yule Party. And you can't stop me.

(no subject)
geranium_dreams
Emo ranting bullshit.Collapse )

(no subject)
geranium_dreams
All I have to say is...Collapse )

Edit: Ho'kay...all the images work now. All were made by me, images from Repo!: The Genetic Opera. I suggest you all see it. NOW.

(no subject)
geranium_dreams
This what you get when you put iHop from midnight to 5am, Greta, Lisa, Coffee, and Art together...:

-"Why is my Bill so HIGH?"
     "Sir, would you happen to be charging your lazers?"

-(( In french, spoken by me)) Xavier: "Parlez vous Francais? (Do you speak french?)"
     Dane: "Un Peu. (A little)"
     ((In....Spanish?)) Xavier: "Muey Bien!"

-GODasaurusrex.

-Me: Dude! I know that POLICE OFFICER. He babysat me once in High school. I should be all: OMG remember me? I'm the chick Jeff and Cindy Kemp paid you to watch while they went to Spain...and then the dog died.
     Greta: ....THAT'S HORRIBLE D:

-Greta: I remember watching a Johnny Bravo episode where the girl was all: "Hey Johnny! Can you find the Hippo before the kids do?!" and then Johnny was freaking out looking for it...but then the Hippo pops up and was all: "HEY Stupid Dumb Fuck! I was on the Couch!" and then proceeded to beat him with it...
     Me: ....*/dies*

-((Listening to Repo: The Genetic Opera)) Me: JESUS.
     Greta: He has a Sexy Voice.

-Me: "I hope I'm not constipated. Like it seems all this gas inside me is compacting. I feel rather Farty...
     Greta: "I'm SO glad you decided to tell me that."

-Me: "While I was outside, I was totally doing the Macarena and Electric Slide to 'Frosty the Snowman'..."
     Greta: "....I want to see a snowman do the Macarena."


So kids, please don't try this at home. These acts of retard were performed by trained professionals.

New Orleans? ROAD TRIP
geranium_dreams
Now, this is a story all about how
My life got flipped-turned upside down
And I liked to take a minute
Just sit right there
I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel Air
...

*coughs* Ahem.

Wednesday: Woke up at the ass crack of dawn to go to school. Earlier that night, Greta had given me some sleeping pills so I could get SOME sleep in. Well, the pills worked. A little too much. All day I was either sleep walking or ready to just knock out. But I persevered! After school, Greta, Steve and I chill around the house either watching TV, playing vidja games, or internetting. Greta bussled around packing and the such.

And then 2:00am rolled around....

Thursday: The road trip started early, and with the mixture of apparently Chuck Norris strength Sleeping piils, school and waking up early, I slept most of the trip. It was more of fading in and out. I had plenty of munchies for whenever I was actually coherent enough to eat. At about...5am Greta pulls into a rest stop somewhere in bumfuck Alabama. I had been sitting in the back, so I switched places with Steve in the front. I made a nice little corner bed out of a skirt, jacket and window. Everyone ends up taking a sweet little nap there. Around 6-something am, Steve shakes me awake. Groggy and half asleep, I turn to him. He asks me if I locked the door.

Now, I'm not sure how familiar you all are with horror movies, but all the creepy shit goes down at rest stops. Say what you will, I am a firm believer in that. Before I passed out, I managed to lock my door for THAT reason. I didn't want some crazy trucker fondling my goodies and stabbing me or something.

So I tell him I did, and asked why. Apparently, some homeless man walked up to my door, wiggled the handle, told me to let him in, and then ran away when Steve woke up. I Don't believe this, because I think I would have heard or felt the door move. But, then again, I had a jacket over my head, a skirt under my head as a pillow and the Chuck Pills still coursing my system, so anything is possible? I shrugged the news off and passed out once more.

When I woke up later on, I immediately laughed and affectionately named Mr. Homeless man "Bob".

So we hit up a Cracker Barrel somewhere around 8ish I think in Mississippi. We get into the New Orleans area somewhere around Noon.

First stop!~: Greta's grandpas place. He was very sick, so we didn't stick around to bother him. We cruised around town for a bit before settling with a Super 8 hotel. We chill in the room for a bit before going to to get something to eat. After trying to find one place, not finding it, and driving around we settle with a "New Orleans Hamburger and Seafood", which was very tasty. Then we all had Ben and Jerry's for dessert.

Friday: Ah yes. The French Quarter. The first stop we made was for Lunch. I don't remember the name, but it was a nice little Cafe in the middle of everything. There was a badass jazz band playing and there were Pidgeons EVERYWHERE. OMG. Okok, so do you remember Gremlins? Do you remember the Evil Leader Gremlin named Spike? He had a Mohawk and stuff? Well, I saw this Pidgeon. Get this: Brown AND HAD A IHD&*OT*$&E MOHAWK. I took a picture of that bastard. He was my favorite. I named him Spike. 8D

Anyways...we had lunch. Steve and I shared Aligator nuggets and Gumbo and Greta had....something? It tasted good, so that's all that matters. We get up and started walking around the Flea Market. There was alot of cool stuff there. Trinkets and bags and touristy things. We then went to get Coffee and doughnuts, or Beignets. They were little fried doughnuts with powdered sugar on them. I also had a Frozen Cafe au lait. Woo!

We walked through a bunch stores ranging from Art displays, to Egyptian Goodies, to Alternative clothing, to tobaccoo shops, to Occult stores, etc. It was really refreshing to see such laid back and non-prude displays in windows (we passed by this sex shop and there were vibrators and handcuffs and blowup dolls just chillin'). I ended up buying an African, Handmade bag. It's absolutely gorgeous.

And we met these homeless people! But there were COOL homeless people. Like, they called us over and asked us a riddle. Steve got the first part of it and I got the second part of it. Apparently, we were the first ones to get it without any hints. And of course, they asked for money for food, and we really didn't have cash. We felt really bad, because this couple was really nice. So Greta goes and buys them a Hamburger each. They really appreciated it and ended up praying for us, which was really sweet.

After that, we head back to the hotel and order Pizza. I was physically exhausted after that, but it was nice to get out and do something.

Today I have no idea what the plan is. I know we have to get out of this hotel room in 10 mins for check out. I think we might go visit Greta's Mom's grave and other things. Road tripping back home tonight. x_x Wish us luck. <3


Life? :D
geranium_dreams
Hmn.

It's going pretty good all things considered.

I love and am loved in return. I have good health. I'm back in school and serious about it. I have amazing friends who are there for me through thick and thin, and vice versa. I have a stable home with (finally) understanding parents. I feel good about how I look. I am finally fangirling again after a long time. I'm becoming addicted to proactive activities. I've stopped caring about things that make me feel bad. I'm being myself without fear of anyone seeing. I do what I want (within reason) without caring how other people react to it. I'm not scared to meet people anymore. I'm listening to the music I like in front of people no matter how uncool it is (Backstreet Boys and NSync are badass and you know it).

I love a boy and he loves me. Maybe not in the same degree. Maybe not in the traditional way. Maybe at the wrong time. Maybe for different reasons. It feels right and I don't care. I don't care if we can never be together again. I don't care if people think it is wrong. I don't care if he hates the word. I don't and I think it is beautiful. It's there and it is the best damn feeling.

I love a girl and I hope she loves me. She is the most beautiful girl in the world. She makes me feel smart and retarded. She makes me hate myself, but love every part of me. Sometimes I wonder why we are friends, and other times I can't think of how I could ever live without her. We fight, we laugh, we want to strangle the shit out of each other, I just want to hug her. We have everything and nothing in common at the same time. No matter how much she hates herself, no matter how far she thinks she has fallen, no matter what nonsense she puts on her body, I'll always love her. I'll always be here for her. She'll always complete me. She'll always be beautiful.

I have the most amazing friends. They come from all walks of life, and each one of them is amazing. The Christians, the Pagans, the what-ever-the-hells, the homosexuals, the homophobics, the republicans, the democrats, the artists, the mathmeticians, the large, the small, the right, the wrong, all of them. They all mean alot to me. You guys are super. You guys make me want to be my best. You make me proud of who I am, because if I wasn't who I am, I wouldn't have met any of you.

I have the best parents. Ever. I know we have had some rocky parts growing up. I know our relationship went down the tube when I was in High school. I know I wasn't the best daughter and they weren't the best parents. I know at times I tried my best, and at times they tried theirs. I made them cry, and they made me cry. In turn, we have had great times. We used to know each other like the back of our hands and yet we knew nothing. I know I have said hurtful things about them to people. Some true, some hormonally exagerated. In the end, though, they have always been there. In my time of need, they have helped. They've picked me up when I didn't think I could. They put a backbone in my broken structure. They opened up doors I thought I had locked. They gave me asskicking boots to fight my way through shit. I can't say how grateful I am that they did that. That they still do that. I would never trade them for anyone else.


I just thought I'd share this with you, the general public.

(no subject)
geranium_dreams
So if anyone ever comes up to you and says "I'm bringing Sexy Back". Bitch Slap them. Look them straight in the face and exclaim at the top of your lungs:

"Fuck you. Greta and Lisa already have BEEN brought Sexy back D:<"

....just like that. Grammar and all.

Shameless Plug-in time!
geranium_dreams
Alright you guys. Every Wednesday from 3pm-5pm you (if you have access to the Netz) go to www.ksuradio.com. Bean About Town (B.A.T) plays with one of my favorite ladies as the DJBean. There are Roasts, Rants, Topics and cool prizes for contests on her weekly show. It's all about the people, so if you want something heard, check out her Facebook page under the group Bean About Town. Do it. DO IT.

(no subject)
geranium_dreams
I guess I am doing better considering the situation.

Looking into how I feel, how things are playing out, I realized some things.

1) This whole mess was my fault originally. Steve and I broke up...and I sort of started the whole Greta/Steve train. I was trying to get them together. Now, this seemed like a good idea to me at the time. I was thinking "If Steve and Greta are together, I'll be able to get over him, he'll be out of bounds and I'd be able to move onto someone else without feeling guilty of leaving him alone". Well, they did get sort of together, but MY end of the bargain didn't hold true. I wasn't/still am not able to move onto someone else. A part of me is happy they ended up sort of together, but alot of me regrets it because it's like "Well, shit. I put my own gasoline on the fire." Shooting yourself in the foot ring a bell?

2) I am sick and tired of holding my feelings in. I am tired of not telling Steve or Greta what I am thinking/feeling afraid they would not trust me, think I am a horrible person, etc etc. It's like...I was focusing too much on their feelings that I tried to neglect my own. That was non bueno. I can't do that anymore. From now on, I don't care who knows it. I don't care who gets offended, sad, mad, whatever.

I still love Steve. If he would let me, I would do anything to get him back.

And again, this is not a I will steal him away from anyone. Last time I checked, he isn't with anyone right now, and he plans on keeping it that way. I will NOT nag or force him into anything with me. Or will I try to up Greta every time. In the end, if he chooses to get with any of us, it is his decision. If, in the end, he chooses Greta, then fine. Me? Fine as well. I don't expect that to happen for a LONG time, but I will wait for it. I already told him that I was going to wait as long as it takes. I'm sorry if this complicates things, but I can't deal with holding it in anymore. I'm tired of sheltering my feelings for him because Greta happens to have the same ones. This shit happens all the time and people move on. Of course, this won't change how I act infront of them. I'll still be me. I'll still just be friends with him. And if/when he wants to change that, I'll be there.

So, yeah. Not as epic as the last post I made, but whatever. You get the idea.

(no subject)
geranium_dreams
Ho'kay...so. I love Satan.

Lawlz.

Made a new layout and new icons. I think it rocks pretty hard. 

And if you are wondering "Wait, WHUT? SATAN?" watch Tenacious D and the Pick of Destiny. You'll know.

(no subject)
geranium_dreams
Get ready for some good old fashioned ranting/raving/bullshit.

This whole Greta/Steve/Lisa thing that went down earlier this month? Yeah, still not over it. Not sure if I ever will. Everything might seem fine. I might seem like I am OK. I'm not. And no, I don't need *help*. I don't need to see a psychologist. I don't need medication. I need people to understand.

It hurts when you say I need professional help. I'm not crazy. I'm not Bipolar. I'm not depressed. I am a 20 year old girl. I have hormones. I have rough cycles. I am human. I'm going to get mad. I'm going to cry. I'm going to say shit I don't remember through a fit of emotions. People do that. I'm not "different". I'm not so special that I need someone special to talk to me. I'm not overboard as to need medication to knock me out or to make me forget what I feel. There are more than 6 billion people on this earth, and I am pretty sure a lot of them have gone through worse shit than me.

It hurts when I see you together. It hurts to think that he wants you more than me. Not that I think I am better than you.  Not that I deserve any better than you. But you have to understand, 3 years (give or take) of my life were devoted to him. I know him better than he knows himself, and he knows me better than I know myself. We've been through everything under the moon. I love him with all my heart, and at one point, he loved me with all his heart. I don't know what I did to make that change...I don't know when that changed. All I know is that it's gone, and it hurts like fucking hell. And then I see you two. You two, who look so god damned happy. You look like nothing in the world can bring you down. You look like how I felt when I was with him. Don't get me wrong, somewhere in my heart I am happy for you. But right now? I fucking hate it. I can't stand to even see you guys in the same room. I don't know when or how I can get over this. I don't know when there will be a moment when we are all together that I won't think that I went wrong somewhere. Nothing you can do can speed it up. I still see the PDA. Even if it's just a simple high five, a slight wink of your eye, maybe you put your head on his shoulder? I see it, times 100. I see it in High Definition on a 72 inch screen and I am sitting all the way in front. Amplified. I feel like I am not good enough. I feel like I am broken. Why doesn't he want that from me anymore? Why does he want it from someone else? Where did I malfunction? What did I do to make him leave me? Him and I used to be inseperable. I know, times change....but seeing her hand on his leg kills me. Makes me ill. Makes me dizzy. Makes me think I am less of a person. Is it wrong to think that? Eh, I don't care. I can't just abandon those feelings. They stay with me even after they are out of my sight...because I know on the inside...when I am gone, they just get closer. They become so much more than my eyes have physically seen, but my heart clearly knows. Makes me feel.....

I feel as though I am not the same Lisa to you anymore. I feel a bit....outcasted? I say something, and then I feel like I shouldn't have. Doesn't matter what it's about. I don't feel like a heterosexual life-partner. I don't feel like a best friend. Disconnected. Things you have told me used to make me feel good; smile. You would say a joke, I'd laugh. It was like clockwork. Now, no matter what you say, I feel sad. I feel like I don't understand. Like you are speaking on a different frequency. You might not notice it, but I do. I wish we could go back to the way we used to be, but I feel like I don't have a voice anymore. So I have to resort back to a shitty LJ to express my feelings. Something went wrong somewhere, and I don't know how to fix it.

I don't know if I can go back to how I used to feel about things. I know I can't change how things are. They are beyond my control. Not everyone can be happy all the time. I was with Steve and I was blissfully happy. Greta was lonely, and rightfully so. Now....Greta is happy beyond belief, or so I think. I don't know, we don't really.....talk? And here I am, bitching and dying a little on the inside. Emo? Maybe. Depressing? Probably. Out of line? No.

I don't even want anyone else. I thought about it. I looked around. I joined dating sites, exchanged IMs, but no. I don't want a stranger. I don't want a gorgeous man with money. I don't want an experienced guy with everything to offer who will take care of my every whim. That sounds boring and just....routine. I want my Steve back. I want the unexpected with him. His every negative quirk. His very apt way of pissing me off. The way he sometimes yells at me. The way he hits too hard sometimes when we wrestle. The way he manages to mess up his hair by doing weird styles. The way he won't just get anything for me...and makes me get my own damn sandwich. The way he doesn't want sex all the time. The way he ignores me by playing video games. His lack of motivation. All of it. Any of it. None of it at all. I just love it. The stuff I used to bitch and moan about. Yeah, remember that? Even that.

I understand and appreciate all of my friends ways of saying that I'll find someone else. I know I could. I know I am very social. I know I am not ugly. I know I am charismatic. I could go out right now and make a friend. Yeah. Whatever. I did. I have. It doesn't help. All these words of encouragement. All these "Bigger fish in the sea" things. All the "Steve wasn't good you for anyways" sayings. I know. I have always known. However, I don't care. I don't want the bigger fish. I don't want all the "you can find someone else" talks. I don't want the "It'll hurt less as time goes on" "You'll get over it". I won't. I know it. They know it. Don't fucking say it. Sure, I CAN get over it. It CAN hurt less. But knowing me, It won't. I won't get over it. It'll ALWAYS hurt. I'll never get over it in the way people tell me I will. My mind works a little more differently than some. I just can't listen to any thing encouragement worthy anymore. It hurts more than just fueling my fire of fuck.

This does NOT mean that I am going to "steal" him away and make him mine. No. He is his own person. I'm not going to force him to want to be with me. He can be with whoever he damn well wants. I love him enough to try to let him go. But....it doesn't stop me from wanting him. From loving him.

I know I sound just a little crazy. "Lisa wants a pity party and oh poor her!" No. "Lisa wants us to support her and not Greta!" No. Choosing sides is pointless. If they want to be together, who is ANYONE to fuck that up? Other than themselves NO ONE can get in the way. It's how feelings work. I just don't know if I can sanely be there with them. Watching them. Knowing them. Seeling them.

It's like my mom used to always tell me. "Lisa, don't touch the stove, it's hot." I then touched the stove. It was fucking hot. It hurt. I never did it again. Personally, I don't like to do things that hurt me.

So then why would I want to be around something that I know hurts?

Life?
geranium_dreams
Started school again today. Let's see how far I go with this one.

Everything is (well, to me) good with Greta and I again. That takes a HUGE sadness off my shoulders...

....but replaces another one. One that I know I won't be able to be with Steve. Ever again. I just can't. I realized this talking with Greta the other night over the whole situation.

And yeah, it hurts like balls. But....I gotta get over it sometime. I won't let my psychotic bitch in me ruin the friendship again. Ruin something beautiful. Just, bear with me while I try to love myself.

(no subject)
geranium_dreams
To say that my weekend was anything less of FANTASTICAL would be a bold, filthy stinkin' beast lie.

Friday: I wake up around...oh...11. I lay in bed, too excited to get up. I would be going to AWA for the first time in years. AND I had a costume. I was fantasizing when my dad comes into my room.

"Wake up. Time to get dressed"
Me: Um...wait...whut? :V
"Get ready to go"
Me: Where am I going?
"To the Condo. You're cleaning"

...../flails. I ended up getting dressed and walking downstairs. Now, I have been sitting on my ass all month, waiting do to something. So...I hang out with friends. I tell my dad that he KNEW I had plans all weekend. He KNEW I had not been doing anything all month and would have been glad to help with the condo. WITH FURTHER NOTICE. He then proceeds to yell at me, saying how I am ungrateful and need to get my priorities straight. Cindy walks into the picture.

Lawlz.

She says the  basis of this: "You get to go to college, and I don't. We are broke, so I can't go, but you do. I raised a selfish immature whiney little BITCH. I hate who you are. I am so ANGRY. You get to sit on your ass while I bust my ass (I wonder: doing what?). You treat us like a fridge. Come home only to clean us out of house and home of food. Blah blah blah." Except...some of that was verbatim.

Dad then replies: Well, that was everything I wanted to say.

Greeeeeeeeeat. Thanks Dad. :D

So I ended up picking up Steve and asking for help. He comes along and we meet up with dad at the Condo. Justin left it a mess, as I expected. I ended up telling dad about my issues with Cindy. He called me a Liar practically and yelled at me...until I started hysterically crying and raising my voice (which I don't do to my dad). He then starts to probably maybe almost understand that I am not a little lying hoor. We get to cleaning. He leaves after a few hours. Steve and I clean Justins room, his bathroom, the living room, the loft, the dining room, my room, my bathroom, the kitchen (OHDEARGOD).

Hahah. About the kitchen. The fridge? Well, the power has been cut off for about a month now. Since we have been out. Justin didn't clean out the fridge before he left. There was Milk...bags of meat, Baking soda that was hard as a brick and other non-discernable objects. Needless to say, there was a HUGE endangered habitat in that Box of Hell. Maggots, flies, dead shit....everywhere. I was covered in Bleach and god knows what for 3 hours while I hand scrubbed that thing.

Justin: You owe me. >:'

And.....not only did the fridge look aweful, but it smelled like Hot Ass. I nearly Gaged....alot. It was the most god aweful stink I have ever smelt in my life. *shudders*

So....Steve and I cleaned from 2pm to 2am. Yeah, 12 hours of solid consitent cleaning. There went MY Friday. Greta helped alot by bringing over some Pizza for dinner. Steve and I would have forgotten to eat.

Saturday: I get a wake up call. From my dad. He leaves a voice mail saying how proud of the condo he is and junk. He tells me he wants me back at the condo whenever this weekend to vaccuum one more time and to spray down the ass fridge. I get dressed (I spent the night at Steves) and Steve and I head to Walmart. I buy some costuming things (red bra, electrical tape, gloves, makeup and fishnets). We go to my house and I shower and do all the happy crappy. I get dressed in my costume and we go to AWA. (by now, it is 5pm)

Get to the Con and I head straight for the bathroom. I brought hair glue to spike my hair up because oh gods...the helmet hair would have been terrible. I walk out with my hair all nice and get Steve to wrap my gloved hand up with Elec. Tape.

Oh, and by the way, I was Sexy Ghetto Femme Vash. 8D We hang outside near the bridge for a while talking to these people about how if you close your eyes while watching DBZ or Inuyasha, it sounds like a really bad Porno. The whole day Steve and I just browse around. We ran into Jon, Heather/Emily, Maddie/Marv/Justin, Lindsey, Russell (Joy), and random others. Towards the latter part of the night, I met up with Nikostratos (*waves* Howdy). We went out to the fountain in front of the Waverly and chilled. It was a GORGEOUS night, so I enjoyed myself. Then, V for Vendetta walks by. I kind of stare, and then point and exclaim rather loudly "YOU!". From then on, V and I were inseperable. Well, until I had to take Steve home. I drop him off and get back to the con. The first person I see is V. We go out to the smoking area and chill there. He was with his friend, Ryan, so I had some nice conversations with them both. We end up going to Steak and Shake for some dinner. After dinner, I had to go back home for reasons I do not want to list. But anyways~

Sunday: Get to the con and walk around. I am still dressed in costume, people who were in costume last night that were now in street clothes could recognize me. I meet up with V and we hang out some more. We find Lindsey out by the Fountain and she joins our party. We walk to the dealers room (some random other Vash gave me a rose and his badge. XD) and I find Dante. I say hello and junk and we go about our way. V couldn't walk 5 feet without getting stopped for a picture. I mean, I got alot of pics taken, but DAMN. lawlz.

We go back out to the smoke dock and talk about dreams and such. I saw Mel (*wave* HI MEL 8D) so I am glad I was there. I was looking for her the whole freakin' Con. -_- But anyways~ Lindsey, V and I go to Applebees for some dinner. After we eat, we decided to caravan to my Condo so I could vaccuum and do finishing touches for my dad. I show V around the place and stuff. Lindsey leaves after a bit to head home. V helps me moves furniture and stuff. Afterwards, he helps me out by taking the stand up mirror and my TV. We take the TV to Steve in his car, drop it off, and he drives me to my house. I get some pants and out of my costume. He then drives me all the way back to my Condo where my scooter is.

You can't even imagine how grateful I am for V. Oh dear Lord. NO idea.

Monday: I stay the night at Steves on Sunday. Monday morning, Philip comes over and hangs with us a bit. Greta drives over to hang out...and then Paul stops by for a bit then leaves. Greta, Steve and I get ready and head to Border Pagans. I call V to see how he is feeling with his Con-Crud. He asks to come to Borders, and I say sure. He shows up the same time as Paul and we all just Chill. Everyone started slowly showing up. It was a nice wind down meeting. We didn't have a topic because Scott was dead Tired from his first day at work. I got to geek out about Anime, Trans-sexuals, girl/girl and boy/boy love, my boobs, and much much more! 8D

So, I had the BEST weekend ever. That and I am officially HIRED AT NETHERWORLDS. *throws confetti* I am super excited about this.

So, before I give myself carpal tunnel, I'm going to head off. Meeting up with V tonight to get the rest of the furniture from the condo.

Time for a little angst
geranium_dreams
Dear Life,

Whatever.

~Lisa

(no subject)
geranium_dreams
Hobey Ho.

...And so we go.

You know, being stranded isn't a bad thing, like I thought it would be. Especially in Marietta Square. Specifically at Cool Beans.

So Greta, Steve and I all hang out at Greta's last night since her dad/brother were out for the night. I grabbed my laptop because I am an internet hoor. On our way, I find that ALL the gas stations in this area have been KO'd for gas. They took down all the prices and locked up the pumps.

Wake up today and Greta has to go to work. She drops us off at Scott and Wendi's. There was a photoshoot going on, and we (steve and I) would have been in the way, so we trek about a mile to cool beans at the square.

AND THEY HAVE FREE WIFI LOLZ.

I am so glad for my lappy. *pets*

So chillin' here with Steve. He's playing PSP and I am (apparently) updating this god forsakened journal.

-Dad said I will be getting an apartment come November. I will be planning a welcome home party. Anyone is welcome to come, but RSVP is needed. I'm thinking a cosplay/costume party? Nothing too fancy (unless you want it to be). More details to come when I find out exactly where it is going to be. (I get to pick out my own apartment! WIN)

-Dealing with being single one step at a time. Yeah, you heard me. Steve and I broke up. Probably for the last time. It feels the roles have reversed. Steve is over me almost all the way, and I am stuck up on him. I guess it happens. Haha. So if anyone knows any hot geeks who are looking for some something-something, hit me up. ;D

-NOISE CANCELLING HEADPHONES JSLIUDT*&UGJED(^#(EDGCB <3

-Might (probably will be) be working at Netherworld this season. They just have to call me back with the results of the Background check. Because, as you all know, I rob banks and cook drugs in my spare time. >:D

-Paganism? Me? WHUT~

(no subject)
geranium_dreams
I can successfully say that I didn't have as much of an epic weekend as a lot of you Dragon*Con goers...but all in all it was a nice one.

Hung out a lot with Steve and Michael seeing how everyone else I like to be with was at said Con. Didn't really do much. Michael and I went out for Hooters, saw Batman (for me: again), got Steak, got to see Mrs. Joan and Mr. Joe, went to a comic store with Leonard and Zack, and chilled with Steve and his family. I stayed the night at Steves a couple times watching movies. I watched iRobot, Old School and some really crappy chinese kung fu movie. Don't you hate it when the subtitles NEVER match what the translation says? XD

Something really odd, but good, also happened. Yesterday Nikostratos texted me. Well, you don't know...but Nik from Techie's party. Random. Like...4 in the morning. "*poke*". I'm going to be hanging out with him Wednesday I do believe. It'll be nice to geek out with another cosplayer after all this time. lawlz.

I went to my first physical therapy last wednesday. I'll be going twice a week for a while, and then only once a week until December or whenever my insurance renews the visits. Looks like it is confirmed: Chondromalacia Patella. Yum. Sounds like a really sexy STD, don't it? Or a type of Steak.

I have an interview this Saturday with Netherworld. I'm gonna try my hand at being a Scareactor again. >:D I can't wait, really. Honestly. I keep sqeaking and prancing about it. I'm like a giddy school school. I wanna be a zombie this year SO FREAKIN BAD.

Well, other than that, not much else happening.

(no subject)
geranium_dreams
Dear Livejournal,

You know, it isn't everyday that I want to change my layout. It's been a month...maybe more. Fandoms change. So would you so kindly STOP trying to align my text to the left when I want it to the right? kthnx.

Can anyone help me out? It's driving me nuckin' futs.

(no subject)
geranium_dreams
The move is done. All the stuff was boxed and taped and shoved into storage. I have just a crate of belongings at my dads to last me 3-4 months.

.....So soon into the transition and I already feel trapped.

It's a familiar feeling when dealing with my dad and stepmom. Even though I can stay out as long as I want, whatever...I still feel smothered. It is strange, and something I need to get over. But I can't shake the paranoid feeling that my parent's are just waiting to spring on me.

Other than that, I got a replacement phone because my other one died (the upgraded one I got previously). Yay new!

I need a vacation.

(no subject)
geranium_dreams
...Is July the month of OMGDrama?

Haha. Do not want.

kthnxbai.

(no subject)
geranium_dreams
I'm fucking losing it.

Thanks, Ichibancrush
geranium_dreams


I. Want. To. Be. Her. NAO.

Oh, and by the way, bitch? FUCK YOU. I love my poor boyfriend. He doesn't need money to treat me like a princess.

(no subject)
geranium_dreams
You know. I *despise* this frakin' "Plus account" shit LJ uses so that you can have 15 icons. I love my icons, but the advertisements are placed all weird with my layout.

Bah.

(no subject)
geranium_dreams
I think I just lost the game...

...Thaaaaaaaaaaanks alot, Emily. D8

(no subject)
geranium_dreams
Well, my phone has officially started to kick the bucket. Not only does it pick and choose when and who it accepts calls from (it's not picky, it hates everyone equally), but it also likes to randomly shut off while I am either on call or doing anything on it.

My guess is that when Justin got the upgraded phone a couple weeks back and I was sent a replacement SIM card, my phone protested the new equipment. Probably hardware clashing.

So anyways, I have a new phone, new and improved. Because my old phone really is a shitter, I could only pull some numbers from it. So, if you want me to have your phone number, post it here. Comments will be screen, so don't worry, all those random hobos that casually browse my LJ will not gain +5 in your digits. My number is the same, but if you don't have it and want it, post here to get it.

(no subject)
geranium_dreams
Who wants to swim with me in my apartment pool? :D

(no subject)
geranium_dreams
So yeah. I'm here. Sort of.

(no subject)
geranium_dreams
I don't work for Entergy anymore. Onto job searching!
- Dad is completely cool with this. He says I just need to focus on my health and school and he
will help out as much as he can.
- Mom completely flipped and pretty much said I am lousy and crazy.
( Note: The roles for mom and dad did a 180 on me. It's supposed to be the other way around)

I am currently trying to enroll at Kennesaw. All I need to do is get transcripts from McEachern and Chattahoochee. Planning on doing that Monday. If that doesn't work out, then Perimeter it is.

AIT was a blasty blast like last month. There weren't as many people who showed up, but because of that I got to do more story wise. Cluster fucks of people trying to do everything at once tends to kick all the noobies like me to the door. Also, the rave was a hoot. Maddie, Greta and I managed to get 99.9% of the guys to take their shirt off. XD

Related to AIT, the inside joke of the month will be "Man-Pile".

Shaved my head. o_O

And um. Yes. They put me on Zoloft for a month. On the 29th, I go in for an EEG to see if they are seizure related (all the symptoms previously mentioned in journal). Don't think I have a tumor, which is good. But the neurologist is almost 100% sure they are panic attacks in tow with Depression. Yey. So yeah. Meds for me I guess. I'm going to ask about Wellbutrin (sp?) next time I see her. I hear Zoloft makes you gain weight...and I already win at that.

Dude. Fairly Odd Parents rocks my everything.

(no subject)
geranium_dreams
Neurologist appointment tomorrow at 9am. I don't think I'll actually have a CatScan until a later date.

In other news, I quit / was laid off from my job. I don't know which it was, because it was more mutual. Eh. On to bigger better things (hopefully not of Tumor type)

(no subject)
geranium_dreams
So in other news, I hate my job.

I know, I know. I've only been there for 2 months...but now the thought of the car ride to work...the idea of taking to asshats and retards on the phone for 8 hours a day (10 on Mondays)....It just makes me want to crawl into a hole and die. Sure, the pay is nice. The people are nice and understanding (sometimes...if it is convenient for them). I just...ugh. Need something alittle more...active and entertaining then "Unfortunately an extension is unavailable at this time because you haven't paid your bill for 4 months. You're going to get disconnected tomorrow if payment is not recieved. Is there anything else I can help you with?" (( and then just have them hang up on me anyways). Something more...I dunno...awesome. x_x

...but definately *not* another Gamestop fiasco.

Warning: Explicit gross content.
geranium_dreams
I might have a tumor?

Ok, ok. So from the begining...for the past week I have had 2 doctor visits. Now, if you know me, I *never* go to the doctor. I'm sick? Ok. More fluids and rest. Cool. Next. But for the past month my health and mood have been declining steadily.

WARNING: TMI comming up...


Constipation, Gas (if it's not stuck, it's comming out fast), fatigue, nausea, dizziness, blurred vision, and the constant need to pee. I mean, like when I go, 5 mins later I have to go again. To the point where it is interferring with work and life. And it can't wait. It'll just come if I don't go, ya know? Flushedness, over heating, perspiring (when I'm on the air conditioner set to freeze) and other random symptoms have gotten on my last nerve. I call Dr Clifford on Thursday and schedual an appointment next day: Friday.

So Greta and I go on Friday and I get the basic tests down: Blood pressure, urine, blood, stats, etc. The doctor and I (after discussing previously mentioned shit) conclude that it could be:
1) Pre-Diabetes
2) Underactive Thyroid
3) Urinary Tract Disorder
4) Pregnant (although he said that it was a .000000001% chance of it.)
After talking about how all these could come up, he figures it could also be Bipolar affecting my health. I leave the doctor on that note and have a breakdown in the parking lot. Denial, much? I really didn't want to believe that being Bipolar would make me have to wizz everything god-damn minute. Multiple times. To calm down, Greta, Steve and I head to Moe's. The results would come the next week.

Yay so Monday rolls around and I have a missed call from Justin saying the Doctor tried to call. It was after hours, so I planned to call around lunch on Tuesday. I couldn't wait, so on my first break (around 12:30) I call. The results came in all perfect. I'm the perfect human being at the moment. Perfect blood sugar content...perfect urine...perfect everything. I was pretty astonished for all the stuff I have been going through. So we talk about the results briefly and he asks me more questions about how I have been feeling. I answer them all and then he gets quiet. Having these symptoms with a perfect bill of health worried him. Though *very* uncommon...he decided to take the route less taken.

He casually stated that he thinks it might be a Lung/Intestinal Tumor...or Brain tumor.

Freak out, much? I did. He advised very sternly that he wants me to schedual another appointment and NOT to wait. So at lunch, I schedual a date with doctor for Wednesday, today. Talk to the boss at work and told him I couldn't wait. He OKd it.

So today I go in with Greta and the doctor goes into more detail the results from Friday. Perfect Liver/Kidney functions, normal Thyroid...just peachy. Then he goes into the Tumor talk. He took more blood from me to test and sent me to talk to another doctor/nurse guy.

So now, for the next 24 hours, I have to urinate into a tank. Litterally, this thing, if filled with gasoline, could fill my scooter to the max. I have to constantly release myself in this thing AND keep the contents refridgerated. So that means I can't go into work AGAIN (because I doubt people would LOVE my urine being store next to their left over meatloafs for lunch). Not only that, but I have to try to FILL this thing. Like...ALL the way the best I can. Sweet Jesus. If I start at noon tomorrow, I have to get the tank back to the doctor (cold and fresh) by noon friday or else the whole thing will be ruined. I'M AN EXPERIMENT.

Apparently this is supposed to test my hormones over an extended amount of time.

You know...I'm not too terribly worried at this point. I'm soooo not worried, Tuesday night I came home to Maddie and Jon and told them the news and finished by singing "I'm a tumor, I'm a tumor! I'm a tumor! I'm a tumor, I'm a tumor! I'm a tumor! I'm a tumor, I'm a tumor! Oh oh oh I'm a tumor!"....ya know, that song Peter sings in Family guy.

But...anyways...how are YOU doing?

(no subject)
geranium_dreams

You are a Clueless Uke!

Having a good time is what you're all about. You're satisfied just to have someone to eat hamburgers and play video games with, and are completely oblivious to other's manipulative behavior. You don't expect much, and that can be a good thing. You're perfect prey for the Opportunist Seme, who might take advantage of you, but you probably won't even notice, or really care, as long as you're enjoying yourself.

Most compatible with: Opportunist Seme, Romantic Seme

Least compatible with: Sadistic Seme, Don't Fuck With Me Seme


What seme or uke are you? Take the experience at SemeUke.com, or find merchandise here.


(no subject)
geranium_dreams
Go to urbandictionary.com, and type in your answer to each question in the search box. Only use the first page.

=My name:
-A very attractive kind of the female gender who has a sultry gaze and a great figure. Lisas are usually attracted to common types of carbohydrates and will devour them vigorously if let loose without caution. Extremely attractive.

=Nickname:
-((I don't know what to put here...XD))

=Relationship Status:
-When some girl/woman is already with some loser, and even though he's an asshole who brags behind her back about how many BJs and how much sex he gets from her, she still thinks he's the best thing since sliced bread and may never know the difference because she's clueless and ignorant. She thinks she loves him, while the only thing the boyfriend is sure of, is how much he loves that pussy, and how he'll tell her whatever she wants to hear to ensure he keeps getting it. The girl/woman, of course, is totally oblivious to this. Meanwhile the guys in her life who truly care about her are left neglected and rejected because, for whatever unknown reason, girls/women are seemingly naturally attracted to assholes and pricks.

=You describe your best friend as:
-Painful memories, mistrust and hurt carried around from past sexual or emotional rejection.
-someone who plays video games when bored...usually very good at it

=What should you be doing:
-a mystical kind of magic which sends u to an alternate plane of existence in which the magical gremlins give u pro plus

=Favorite food:
-A Japanese dish made with a lump of rice and sweetened vinegar wrapped around a vegetable slice, or a fish slice. Often there is a piece of seaweed wrapped around the entire thing, but not always. Also, the vegetable or piece of fish can be on top of the rice with the seaweed wrapped around vertically.

=Home state:
-The Show-Me State. The northern half of the state tends to be flat and fits in culturally with the Midwest. Northern Missourians say "Miz-zur-ree". The southern half of the state is defined by the Ozark Mountains and tends to identify with the South, rather than the Midwest. Southern Missourians say "Mizz-zur-rah" keeping in tradition with the original French pronunciation of the Indian word that was used as the basis for the state's name. Southern Missourians in the Ozarks tend to speak iwith an accent similiar to Tennessee

=Finish the line: "The best thing[s] in life is/are __?:
-The most spectacular,indescribable , deep euphoric feeling for someone.

=One word to describe yourself:
-full of thought

=Your best friend:
-To be extensively outragous and egocentric, often overly confident, melodramatic, and histrionic.
-A thong that is visable above the trouser line of a girl. A useful word when spotting a thong or pointing one out without the girl knowing

(no subject)
geranium_dreams
a. Post a list of 10 fandoms.
b. Have your friends list guess your favorite character from each one.
c. When guessed, bold the line, include the character name, and write a sentence about why you like that character.

1) Fushigi Yuugi
=Tasuki. Flamming red heads with a passion for being incredibly clumsy are my kinda people...except I don't think he intends on being retarded. It just happens.
2) Blood+
=Hagi, tall...dark...handsome...plays cello...and devotes his life to the girl he loves. This might be the hopeless romantic in me, but hell yes.
3) Dragon Ball Z
=Vegeta. Cocky, badass, and spandex.
4) Zelda: Ocarina of Time
=Link, I mean, who COULDN'T love a hot Hyrulian man wearing tights handling his big-ass sword like a pro? That's right. *NO*one.
5) Bleach
=Urahara. I like hats, and I like clogs. I also like blondes. And fans. And people helping from sidelines.
6) Pirates of the Caribbean
=He's the most emo wanna be pirate ever. I love it.
7) Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
8) DnAngel
=Dark. Who else IS there to like that isn't childishly annoying as hell?
9) Tenjou Tenge
=Bob. That dude has some badass dreads. And a lip ring. And he is black. XD Woo!
10) Vampire Knight

....Sad thing is...it wasn't too hard to come up with these things. I have 10000000053458fhei+ fandoms I could have listed. I picked some of the ones that are...less obvious and with fav characters that are less mainstream accepted. =D

(no subject)
geranium_dreams

Which Bleach character are you?
created with QuizFarm.com
You scored as Urahara Kisuke

You are Urahara Kisuke. You always seem to know more than you let on. You have a tendency to act like a dork sometimes, but become unbelievably serious the next moment. You have great strength and you believe in others' strengths. Your qualities make you a likable yet hatable person. Don't let your sarcasm get in the way of your growing friendships.


Urahara Kisuke


80%

Sado Yasutora (Chad)


60%

Kuchiki Rukia


60%

Shihouin Yoruichi


55%

Ishida Uryuu


45%

Shiba Ganjyu


40%

Inoue Orihime


35%

Kurosaki Ichigo


30%




Um. Yay? XD I should be sleeping. Shooooould be. oO

?

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